it's like quitting smoking but you don't know you're puffing on the last stick you'll ever have.
i finished my last stick and i didn't even know it.

i know i should feel happy. i'm losing the habit that for so many months i've been trying to lose. but i don't feel happy. i lost. that's what i feel.

i lost and it's not even a game.

i was a basketball player about to retire but i didn't even know my age. to me, every game, every day was the first.

i lost and i wasn't even playing the game.

the game. i used to play it and i felt invincible... until the day i knew what invincible was.

why am i crying?
because there was invincibility.
because i lost.
but if there is still hope and i haven't really lost, i'm crying because i will lose... the one i cry for.

no sense. i'm not ok.

someone who looks like colin freakin farrel won't make things ok.
someone who drives you everywhere in a fancy car won't make things ok.
someone who buys you goddamn christmas havaianas won't make things ok.
someone who holds your hips and sways with you won't make things ok.
all you need is someone to love and love you back. then you'll be ok.

that someone will hug you too. give me a hug please :)



:* for always eydyey.