i went to up today with a goal in mind. to get my non-maj form approved thereby enabling me to enroll for math this summer and moving one step closer to transfering to ID. now i'm lost. afloat once again. i went to the college sec for consultation. i appreciate how he built a foundation of a safety net for me. i have to do the rest. transfering within engg sounds good. hmm. i'm back to a dilapidated square one. i'll be in another department. hopefully. cross your fingers. i'll be in first year again. there's a possibility that miguel and i would be in the same course. we'll be batchmates and he'll do better than me tapos gagatungan niya ko. on second thought. it doesn't sound that good. i'm scared. i don't think i'd be able to do it. my friends are supportive enough. i'm the problem. agh. absentee supportive boyfriend. tama na plastican. si aj na mismo humirit na lalamangan at gagatungan ako ni miguel. so there. so much for supportive. hahahaha. everything really is scaring the shit out of me. i'm lost.

frustrations. stupid taxi driver who over charged and even had the nerve to get cocky. stupid right escalator to southbound. stupid decision making and life living. stupid loving of something not worth it. stupid phonecalls about hearsays backbiting and bitterness which are stupid phonecalls all about other people and never about the people on the ends of the line. i'm getting sick of it. nako ang bakla talaga. but i'm not bored. i'm sick. it's never about what's inside of us.

madali akong magsawa in general. sports. colors. food. clothes. oo lahat na. so if two people are like that. kaboom! it'll eventually burst then shit will fly everywhere. whatever it is. i'm not making sense as always. madali ka magsawa. ako rin. so ano pinapalabas mo? you want to see me play ganun? aynako.

non sense sensical kwento. he went to la union last wednesday. he went up to baguio last sunday. he'll be back in manila next sunday. i'm experiencing emotional battering on the phone and he has no idea. he's away for twelve days and i'm not taking summer classes. he's away enjoying himself eat sleep drink for twelve days yet we won't even go out when he gets back. we share twenty-five cents and he spends tenfold on himself. pautang painom pawaldas pohtah di natakot sa taghirap. my summer is technically as long as his but his is apparently over by may. wtf. you leave for two weeks then question me for not coming then not spend time with me when you get back. sorry i wasn't able to schedule a meeting boss. depende sa date amf. ano ka presidente? then being first lady sucks. part of it's because there's a second to every first. i am so bitter dammnit. point is i'm pissed at aj right now. ulul ka di mo ko bestfriend noh! tama ba namang pagisipan kaming dalawa ng boyfriend mo ng ganun?!