give me a hug.

What a fine day today was.

I won’t tire myself, typing the useless points of my day. Instead, I will go straight to the f*cking point; this being the cow poop in my so-called life.

I’ve always known that people often get annoyed with me. Be it my perkiness, elitism or arrogance, I always find a way to tick people off. I admit and accept all this. And in all fairness, I did forewarn you.

“I can be quiet a pain, so don’t push me.”

It was only today that someone actually stood up to me and said, “maraming galit sayo.”
This certain someone isn’t one of these “marami”. Thank God. Though he often criticizes me, I truly appreciate his frankness and honesty; for only a true friend would tell you “you have gum on your hair.” He adds to his testimony, perhaps to make me feel better, that it doesn’t matter what people say. “Mabait ka naman sakin eh.” But despite this, it still hurt; crushed my heart, in the non-romantic sense; for I knew it all this time, but it wasn’t verified, until now.

I know who these people are. I somewhat know why they feel that way about me. I have this bad habit of putting myself above others, even though I’m in no place to do so. I judge just because; finding no fault in the one I judge. I classify, categorize and stereotype. There’s “cool” and “jologs”. I’m a conversationalist but often times I get too loud, creating noise instead of sound. True, that I am affectionate, but clingy and fc is what I become. I dress up, an un-UPian trait, too racy at times. I have nothing to show and nothing to hide; no tits or tush. So there!

I can be hypocritical, saying things but doing the opposite. Playing coy in the positive sense but living it the negative way. But I don’t wanna talk in riddles anymore. “Ayaw kunwari pero ang landi naman.” That’s what you whisper when I’m around. I know.

While reading this you say, “so inamin mo rin?”

I’d like to say “ I don’t give a damn!” , but I won’t because I do! I care what people think. What do you expect? I’m a people-person dammit!

“Eh sira ka pala eh! Dineny ko ba para sabihin mong inaamin ko na?? Takte!Ano bang pake mo?! Oo na! Malakas akong manlait. Ang kapal ng mukha ko! Alam kong wala akong karapatan manglait kasi wala naman akong ipagmamalaki diba? Inaamin ko. Tinatanggap ko. Sige na! Tama ka na para sumaya ka na! Tapos! Atleast di ako duwag kagaya mo!“

*Ugh..I’d like to point out that this is a blog. I am free to express my feelings and say whatever I want!

Sorry. Badtrip to the positive infinity : (

*Thank you Ross and Oni for always being there for me. Especially when I’m so down and fed up with everything. Thank you for listening to my sob stories, cheesy heart situations and corn poop non-sense. I wish I could follow your advice. In ADMU I can be myself-er.

*Thanks Chet. nuff’ said.

hugs&kisses,

I don't know anymore

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